How to Give a Damn, and Stand Out by Amber Wanner

Yeah, I think that's a good thing.

Speaker 1: Guys, thank you so much for having me. Um Sashia mentioned my name is Amber Warner and I founded a company called Candidate and we'll go in a little bit more about what we do at Candidate in a little bit. My Twitter is right here and my email is there as well if you guys want to send me an email afterwards. So, you guys are probably wondering why there's a picture of the sound of music. So when I was 10 years old, I was in a singing competition and the song was these are a few of my favorite things. All of my family and friends were there in the audience and I got up on stage, looked around the audience, and choked a little bit and ran off stage crying. So hopefully that won't happen today. But no, seriously, public speak

Speaker 1: speaking is or anything involving standing on stage trying to picture the audience in their underwear is very intimidating So I applaud all the speakers who did an awesome job this week. All right. So a little bit about me. I uh am a co-organizer of several tech meetups. in Philadelphia including Kubernetes, Ansible, Ruby, Prometheus, Raspberry Pi, Docker, Project Cognoma, and a couple more. I'm like what are you looking at what are you laughing at? Um so like what did I put up there? Uh so Project Cognoma is actually one of my personal favorites and you guys could check out the GitHub it's Cognoma. Basically what we did was we partnered with Penn's Cancer Data Lab and we worked on an ongoing hackathon that basically took 15 months where the tech community came together.

Speaker 1: Every other Tuesday from 6 to 8 and worked on an open source project for genomic data for cancer research. It was an amazing initiative where software developers and data scientists This collectively came together and it's now being used by Penn's Cancer Data Lab internally, as well as Alex's Lemonade Stand, who found out about the project from one of our meetups. So yes, if you want to check out the GitHub, it's actually really, really cool. It's open source, so you guys could, you know, maybe work on some stuff with it. But what you guys really want need to know about me is that I am a three-time all-star corn cob eating champion. And so if anyone thinks that they could beat me, I am down after this talk

Speaker 1: But I also started a company that basically sets folks in the tech community up with jobs and or dates. So basically, and I'll tell you a little bit about exactly what that means. Um, and also, so when my talk was accepted, I started preparing for it and I had a moment of realization, oh snap, I'm presenting a at a conference for developers and developers hate recruiters. Which I don't blame you. But I'll give you a little bit of background on me and how I started the company and what the company is. So I started the company when I was 23 years old. I was working at a recruiting firm and I hated the way recruiting companies treated their candidates. It seemed to me that they were just looking to put a butt in a seat. And that was not the way I did things. I would place developers and jobs and I got to know them really well.

Speaker 1: I knew everything about them. So And they became my friends. So I noticed a pattern that kept coming up. My developers would often say, you found me this awesome job. Now I'm in a great place in my life. Now if only you could find me a partner. So then I would go home and I would be hanging out with my girlfriends and listen to them complaining about online dating and how they can't meet a decent person who has a job. And I was like, uh I just met this awesome person who has a job and I could vouch for that So it got me thinking, why not? Um so I did what any other crazy 23-year-old would do and I quit my job and started candidate with literally no clue in the world what I was doing.

Speaker 1: The next eight months I spent working out of a Starbucks and having clients come there and I didn't even have a name for my company. And one day I was on my way uh to meet someone and Rihanna, the song Possible Candidate, came on and I was like, that's it, candidate. And so that's how it came to be. Um eight months later we got an investment and we are now four years in. So I founded the company on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. While studying sociology in school, I learned about various different levels of the pyramid and how one would ultimately reach self-actualization. I saw that when someone's professional life was fulfilled, then it greatly impacted their personal life, and vice versa. So the question is, what does this have to do with anything?

Speaker 1: Well, that brings me to the topic to the topic of my talk, two big areas that I would really like to focus on, which is flat out giving a damn. And I love that I could say dam in a in a tech Presentation and standing out, whether you're trying to get a new job, starting a company, or trying to get an investment, or just simply make looking to make your way in the world. This uh the tier that we're really going to focus on is the social aspect. Social aspect which includes the need for belonging, love, and inclusion. So here at DjangoCon, if you can raise your hand, how many of you would consider yourself to be an introvert? Okay, so studies show that between 35 and 40% of the population are introverts. But if you find yourself somewhere in between like I do, you may be

Speaker 1: considered an ambivert. It's not just because my name's Amber Um you struggle between wanting to go out and be social to wanting to go home and be a hermit and play video games all night, which I like to do. So if you find yourself between introvert and ambivert, this talk may be good for you. So giving a dam 101. Basically giving a dam with everything that you do without ulterior motives. So the first part of this talk is going to be about giving a dam. It's very simple. Do not give a damn just to expect something in return. Nine times out of ten, you will be disappointed. When you do things for other people with that expectation, they will notice. If you're going for a promotion at work or you're just trying to get on the radar of a particular company you're interested in, volunteer, ask how you could help, or come up with an algorithm to help solve a complex challenge the company is having.

Speaker 1: If you're noticing something someone struggling at work, step out of your comfort zone and help them or give them some sort of advice because we all have been there at some point or another. When you do something willingly, not because you have to, but because you want to, it allows you to stand out in other people's eyes. And you are then looked at as someone who adds value beyond scope of work. So giving a damn towards other human beings. This one's my favorite. I have very strong feelings towards this one. Most people just want to be heard, listened to, understood. Whether you're an introvert, extrovert, ambivert, people tend to dismiss others before getting to know them. Always keep in mind that we are all human and going through stuff. When giving a damn, you just do. You don't look for something in return. Which brings me to the amber effect.

Speaker 1: So what in the world is the amber effect? Good question. I had no idea either. But my friends would always say it anytime something bizarre would happen. Oh, it's the amber effect. And then I started looking into it more. and studying it and it all came down to one thing. As simple as it may be, being human, embracing the fact that you are human and giving a damn about other humans. Let me give you a couple examples. I was at a crypto conference in Philadelphia and sat next to this older gentleman. We started talking a little bit about blockchain and Bitcoin and Philadelphia cheeses. Zero was spoken about business. We talked about life, the weather, and nothing pertaining to why I was there or why he was there. The speaker went on stage and began to speak about a very vulnerable topic, addiction. And how crypto can play a role in getting help.

Speaker 1: I looked over at my new friend and saw sadness as his eyes began to swell up. I decided to share a personal story with him because I could tell he was hurting. Forty-eight hours prior to the conference, I found out that my sister who struggles with severe depression was getting into hard drugs and I was comp sorry, I was trying to figure out how I was going to break this to our mom After being vulnerable myself and opening up to him, he shared that his sister passed away years prior to a heroin overdose. We shared stories and had raw human conversation, real conversation. It wasn't until later on that I found out that this man had sold several companies and happened to own ten NASCAR cars. So The next week

Speaker 1: my logo was on the back of a NASCAR car. My point is when you get to know a stranger and give a damn without expectation you never know what could come of it. So now let's talk about the internet. The internet is a weird place It can be used for good things like socializing with friends, ordering services and goods, meeting a potential partner, learning different cultures and what's going on in the world, getting jobs, marketing your business, but at times it can also be abused. So last year I got this message that read, uh I am sorry you look to be about twenty-two years old, way too young for this industry, cute but not worth spending time. I wish you the best of luck.

Speaker 1: Modeling would be better for you as a biz. Yeah. So first off, I'm 5'1. I couldn't be a model if I tried. So clearly he has no idea what he's talking about. Um at first I was discouraged and a little bit embarrassed, but then I decided to post the message on LinkedIn, blur out his name and the company he worked for, so I could simply just show people that it doesn't matter what people say about you. Well, within 24 hours, this post had hit 150,000 150,000 page views, and I had thousands of requests and messages from people all over the world sharing their own stories Huffington Post and Entrepreneur Magazine and a couple other outlets reached out and did an article on this unexpected event that took place. And in return, my business actually thrived. So I guess it kind of worked out in the end.

Speaker 1: My point is, while the internet can be abused at times, you can also use it to help you. And we're gonna talk about that next. Okay, so standing out 101. Um let's talk about standing out. I'm going to dive into three common areas. As a job applicant, um, when you're interviewing or applying to jobs starting a company or trying to get clients and if you're trying to get an investment from it from an investor Now, what I'm gonna tell you, you're gonna think it's kind of odd. Um, this is actually the opposite, probably, of what you you were taught. And you're absolutely right. We were taught that you send your resume andor cover letter and wait for a response. But guess what? Ain't nobody got time for that? So the first uh point I want to make is throw away your resume and cover letter

Speaker 1: Resumes may tell you what you've done in the past, but not necessarily what you can do for a company. A hiring manager and/or HR manager can check out your GitHub in real time and see firsthand what you've been doing. Which brings me to my next point. Do not, I repeat, do not apply online. Unless of course you enjoy torturing yourself. Chances are it may get in front it may never get in front of the right person. Hold your standards high Third, find out who the hiring manager is and reach out directly. You can do this on LinkedIn, Google, that's what Google is for. Look at the description and look for words like reports into, then go on LinkedIn and find that person. Now, four, tie all those together and do not mention anything about the job when reaching out.

Speaker 1: I want you to keep it short and sweet when you do send a message and do not mention anything about what you 're looking for. Examples. And these are examples that I've used with developers who are looking for jobs and friends of mine. So the first one is, hey, I think it could make sense for us to meet. Do you go to XYZ meetup often? Human beings are naturally curious creatures. This person is going to want to know why you think it makes sense for you guys to meet. And they'll respond. Second, you could say, hey, I saw a project you did on GitHub. Would love to pick your brain on something I'm working on. If this doesn't get the person's attention, I'm not sure what will. No, but seriously, in this message, you're basically saying, that's a really freaking cool project, and I think you're cool. Let's nerd out together. And third, you could say, I saw that you're an organizer for XYZ meetup.

Speaker 1: Do you have do you need any volunteers? Meetups and conferences are always looking for volunteers. This allows you to get in the in and the in. And since meetup and conference organizers usually do need help, they will most likely respond. So now this one is for standing out when starting a company and trying to get clients. Do not send a long-winded email. I can't tell you how many emails I get from people trying to sell me stuff. Similar to reaching out to the hiring manager, don't send a long-wind winded email about how you can help them. They are hounded all day and night by people sending emails about stuff that doesn't even make sense. Keep it short and sweet. Two, do not mention anything about the fact you want them as a client. You need to let them think it's their idea. You need to meet with them, get to know them, and not talk about business.

Speaker 1: I'll go into how it enabled the in-person meeting in the next slide. Three, attend as many events as you can. It's cliche cliche, I know, and it's easier said than done, but it's so important to get out there and meet people. Make friends. Four, do not be afraid to reach out to the CO of the company. Keep in mind, and this is something that I say to myself all the time and say to other people, is that you can't lose something that was never yours to begin with So when going in for the interview or going in to meet you know a CEO or reaching out, you know, you you never knew them in the first place, so you're not losing anything. Examples. When meeting with a potential client, ask them more questions about themselves. In return, they will ask you questions that allows both of you to build build rapport.

Speaker 1: You could say something like, so how did you get started this started in this industry? Always great to meet fellow entrepreneurs. People love to talk about themselves. So this one is good because you get to learn their personal story and understand them on another level. A question that I love asking is, do you love it? That doesn't give them much time to really think about it. And so you get a very raw response. And it gets them thinking too. Third, so who is your target client? I'd love to see who I know who could maybe utilize a service like yours. This is good because it allows you to be looked at as someone who can add value beyond what your business actually does. For example, I had a client who was working on a timeline app basically using predictive analytics to predict an issue before it came up

Speaker 1: using data collected along the way. I then took on a new client who was building something similar but in a different industry. And they were having issues solving a similar problem that the client had already solved. I connected the dots and made an intro between the both CEOs. And now they licensed out their software and are working together. I did not get a cut of that. It's important to always look at the big picture beyond what is just in front of you. Standing out when asking for money from investors. A question that I often get is how did you get an investment? Or how do how do you stand out with investors in a saturated market? Just don't. Don't ask for money. Investors often invest in people, not their ideas necessarily.

Speaker 1: They need someone who they trust and can execute the idea. When meeting with an investor, get to know them the same way I told you about getting to know a client or a candidate or a friend. Build a relationship with them on a human level. Do not mention that you're seeking a round of funding. Let them get to know you, learn the challenges you're having, and offer to invest themselves. Let them think it's their idea. That's how my mom managed me growing up. Um and now this doesn't apply to every business, but if you're just getting started or you're looking for new clients or you know, even they may know some investors, I've seen it work many times. In conclusion, giving a dam

Speaker 1: plus standing out equals the amber effect, I think. Be human, treat other humans like humans, and the rest will follow.

Speaker 2: Hi, that was that was awesome. And what do you think of um like there's some people that you have a a connection with immediately and that's awesome and sometimes you're like, hey, I'd like to w work together and you can take that energy and then sometimes working with people is like an arranged marriage too so like Well, we're forced to be here every day and then a relationship can grow from that. So how do you kinda uh there's that that's kinda two different ways that people can work together. You can have that energy and work together or work together and then a relationship can grow because I like this um idea of connection where I l work at a big org organization where they just uh all the stuff comes through HR and I took like the back door in because I networked my way in

Speaker 2: and that just seems like such a more organic way of connecting people and you know, bringing a person in instead of just this piece of paper, you know, somebody and trying to see if just everything qualifies in that way. And so kind of really bringing the people and the relationship back into

Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. I think um I am an HR manager's worst nightmare because I do things very unconventional. And I I don't think I I shouldn't say this, but um going to through HR I think you should probably avoid it at most costs. Um I think because a lot of a lot of it there's a lot of like red tape and stuff and You know, they don't always know the whole situation of the person and you're right, they're looking at it a piece of paper and not, you know, the actual person, their id you know, their prof like who they are as a person, um, beyond just the technical skills, you know, from a a social like a soft skill. standpoint. I think always try to go the back door if you can. I know I'm a recruiter and I probably shouldn't be saying this, but at all cost

Speaker 1: I I wouldn't Unless it's me. I wouldn't go through, you know, anyone. If you can figure out a way to get in, and there are ways to get in. Um like simply I just had a friend of mine send a message to someone a company in New York that she's trying to get into And she said, hey, I'd like to pick your brain on something, you know, about whatever. And this is the hiring manager that literally I know friends that have applied and never got back to to them. So there's definitely ways to go around it. And I'd be happy to help anyone, you know, kind of navigate through that. I don't know if that answers your question.

Speaker 3: Um, so you have a really interesting journey. This is really awesome. Um, I guess through all this um uh process that you went through of um becoming your own entrepreneur. Looking back, were there anything that you would do differently or some lessons that you learned along the way that you would share with us? us or

Speaker 1: oh yeah absolutely every single day um you definitely learn a lot along the way and I've made many mistakes and I think obviously like the cliche answer is to just learn from them But also talk to other entrepreneurs and understand kind of what struggles they might have gone through and stuff so you know that you're not alone. I feel like it's you know kind of being an entrepreneur entrepreneur, a CEO, it's it kind of gets lonely sometimes um because not all of your friends and stuff understand like the lifestyle that you're you have. But yeah, and I I also would recommend listening to podcasts and reading books. You know, I read the the book Good to Great, that helped me um you know in starting the company and and everything. You're always going to learn stuff along the way. I know my investors are like, Amber, if you do that one more time.

Speaker 1: You know, and that that's the thing, like keeping the expectations for the investors as well as yourself, um, you know, and really taking care of yourself. I think that's something that the first two, three years I kind of didn't do. I just ran straight through and I was like, all right, I'm doing this and I like barely got any sleep. Um finally this last year I I took time for you know for myself but you still need to make sure you hit your deliverables and everything. But yeah

Speaker 4: Um I maybe this is a weird question in this context, but have you ever come across people who didn't feel confident enough to be the founder of a company vers CEO, but thought they had an idea that was worth pursuing and was trying to find someone to engage with that idea just because they thought it was important.

Speaker 1: Um I mean I I definitely meet a lot of people with really good ideas. I think like for me when I started my company I just didn't even think. I just did it. And I now looking back, I'm like if I thought thought about it, I would have overthought it over and over and over again. And you know, kind of like when I first started, some you know, people did doubt you know, candidate and what we were doing. And and you know, they still do so, you know, from time to time. But more people than not didn't and believed in it. And so I kind of rode with that. Um But I think if you have an idea, you know, run it by it by people. With Candidate, I actually, before I started the company, I went to tech events and I started taking surveys and polls and collecting the data of people that would actually utilize a service like this And so I had that data to kind of reassure me when I was doubting myself.

Speaker 1: But yeah, if you have an idea, you know, go for it. Do your market research and make sure, you know, either no one else is doing it or whatever it may be or you can do it better. Yeah. Uh

Speaker 5: thank you for the great talk. Uh I'm interested in knowing how much your business has grown, especially uh on the intersection of uh recruitment and the matchmaking side of things.

Speaker 1: Yeah, so I mean I came from the background I mean I came from a sociology background. So like I kind of fell into recruiting and I it was more so because I just loved helping people fulfill, you know, their goals and and and everything and I I just I saw how ruthless of a world the recruiting is and you know I wanted to change that and so that was my background is really building a foundation in Philadelphia um for the recruiting side to be you know know a different avenue for developers who you know come into our city and don't know anyone. That's one of the reasons also why I started the the dating side and everything in the social side was because people were moving to the city they didn't know anyone so we were introducing them to a social aspect of their life. But yeah, I didn't I'm not a matchmaker by any stretch of the imagination. But I just knew so many people and I was I listened to them.

Speaker 1: And so when I listened to them, I kind of matched that with, you know, people I thought they could be good for. And there's always trial and error. Um, no one's perfect, but you know, we we keep learning and growing from it. We've changed a couple things along the way. And we can t we'll probably change them a hundred times more. But yeah, I mean right now, you know, we're we are eventually looking to expand to other cities. You know, for I I think kind of to touch on the other thing, um being four years old, I did have kind of one of those moments where I was like, oh man, we have not accomplished what I wanted to accomplish in four years And you know, it just kind of take a step back and really kind of evaluate the business and make sure that we're on the right track.

Speaker 6: Great talk, by the way. Um wanted to ask you specifically about the whole uh outreach aspect, you know, reaching out to another person like they're an actual human being and you give a rip about them. That's always no, that's even that's not guaranteed to work. So what would you recommend doing in response when you try to message them on LinkedIn or send an email and then you get nothing back Do you persist? Do you send out another email every week? Do you take the hint and move on? I have gotten I I've been told the uh persistence one in particular is like a regular recommendation in multiple places. What's your take?

Speaker 1: So the messages that you're sending are they ones like, hey, you look cool. I think we should meet Or are they like, hi, I saw that you have this job and I'd like to meet with you because boo, you know, I think my skill set, blah, blah, blah. Like is that kind of cause w those kind of messages do not normally get a response because they're getting a hundred of them. But if you like tweak your message just a little bit and say something like that's kind of just a little bit different You know, I I've seen it it work many times. But other than that, like in in terms of you know getting in touch with them, like find out what they're into. I mean if they're, you know, into I don't know, I had uh someone once I I knew the manager was really into Really into crazy socks. And so I had the guy wear crazy socks he went to the office and wore these crazy socks that said

Speaker 1: hire me. And it had the guy's picture on the front of them I was gonna bring them today, but I forgot. I'm very upset about that. Um but like just doing different like things to stand out. Um Messaging, you know, on LinkedIn doesn't always work, but like find out maybe what meetups and stuff they go to. I don't know if that that helps. It it doesn't work all the time, but it it it works better than just sending an application And and also like you know cre maybe create your own meetup. Because if if it's maybe an ind uh uh like a technology like Django, say there's no Django meetup in whatever area you're in, if you start a meetup And you're talking to this hiring manager or whatever, you're like, hey, yeah, I run Django meetup in whatever area. You know, they may be more inclined to re

Speaker 1: reach back out.

Speaker 3: Uh yeah, I just had a question about the earlier part, which is um coming at a person with no motive. I guess how do you do that when you do have a motive? motive. So

Speaker 1: that is really funny because when I was preparing for this talk I was like me talking about being genuine makes it disingenuous. And I was like, how do I like go about that? Um I think just you have to always like you just can't expect something out of it. Like just do like offer to help with whatever like For example, you know, like I wanted to work with uh the. NET Code Camp um in the Poconos. And I knew that um, you know, I really wanted to talk to the organizer because, you know, they are hiring or whatever. I wanted to get in in with them. So I reached out and I was like, hi, hi, hi, can I volunteer? Can I help? And Even though my ultimate motive is to end up working with them, even if it didn't end up working out, like

Speaker 1: you still got something out. Like you're in networking, you're meeting people, like just don't necessarily like take it as a bad as a negative if it doesn't work out the way that you actually want it to. Because it could end up working out in a differ in a different way.

Speaker 7: Well thank you so much, Amber.